Hello.

Thank you everyone for your kind comments on my last journal. I appreciate it. I am travelling home on Wednesday for the funeral. I feel like the last four months have been filled with people dying and the act of attending funerals. When really, it was just Poppy and now my Grandad.

When I came back to Norwich after the summer I met my friend Josh for a drink. I told him about Poppy dying, and in amongst the usual expressions of sympathy he recommended that I read 'Norwegian Wood' by Haruki Murakami, but that it would probably make me sad. I've just finished reading it, like, in the last half hour, and he was right. I feel incredibly sad, but it was such a beautiful book. I almost want to pick it up and start reading it again. (When I was younger I always did this, I don't know why, really. Or why I stopped.)

I don't know why I'm writing this journal, but that book made me feel something so I thought I should share. I don't really have much to say. Ollie visited for the weekend, which was lovely. I was so pleased to see him. He makes me feel like maybe everything will be OK. I'd been looking forward to that visit since the start of term. Other than that I look forward to my almost-regular drinking sessions with Josh, but that's complicated, sort of. And I shouldn't make heavy drinking a regular habit. It's strange, though. I can head over to his house at like, 5 in the afternoon and not leave until after 1 in the morning, and all we do is sit on his bed and talk and drink. I don't know what we talk about, but somehow all those hours pass. I went drinking with him after I found out my grandad had died. Company was good for me. I'm very grateful for that.

So. Perhaps I have that to look forward to this week. Other than that, all my thoughts are funeral bound. I need to find another couple of books to read, otherwise I might go slightly mad. I shouldn't read so much before bed, because my brain just starts going and going and here I am still writing about nothing, not that it really matters. If Ollie were here I'd be talking to him about nothing. But then I probably wouldn't have spent all day reading because apparently I'm not such good company when I do that.

Hmm. I need to turn my brain off for a bit.

Night all.

Gold star if you read all that.

x